Are you righteous? Kind? Does your confidence lie in this? Are you loved by all? Know that I was, too. Do you imagine your suffering will be any less because you loved goodness and truth? --Japanese Soldier in the movie "The Thin Red Line"

Before today I was known to everyone by that which I was to become. I sit here now, the dream wrapped so tightly by a self administered tourniquet that it will soon have to be removed lest gangrene set in and take advantage of the situation to consume the rest of me. My life moved like a fast car down an empty, rain-slicked city street at 3a.m., when all the lights down the long avenue turn green at once and even the cops are cheering for you as you speed because secretly they wish they could put duty aside and run with you.

When the Escalade hit me from the side I was indignant at first. The road was mine. The lights were green for me. Through the window of my upside-down turned-around car I noticed the lights were all red now. A few passerbys (an amorous young couple and an overworked investment banker just leaving work) sympathized some but could not help. Sometimes you just can't help.

"What was is it all for?" I muttered as I stared at the Moon above as reflected in a puddle of rain water and blood on the asphalt. Surely the road had encouraged me with its green lights and emptiness? Why else wouldn't I instead be in my soft bed with a beautiful woman who likes to put her hand into my shirt through the space between the buttons?